It's late. Well at least late for me these days. I'm currently in the days of "In-between."
I remember last year about this time, during what I called, "The Year of the Pony." What a season. Life was rich. Life was full. After a lush summer that was just plain old goodness birthed from deep friendships, belly laughs and prayers. The trees were green, tears were leaked. We sang at the top of our lungs. I felt an indescribable calling towards my life. I felt the Lord pulling me. My body may have been tired but my soul was set a'fire.
Yet somehow so much has changed since that last Fall. Friendships have been altered, my heart's been broken; the course has taken me to the places I couldn't imagine. My heart song is still beating the same drum.
As a part of the places I couldn't imagine, I've been asked to identify my mission in life. My life objective that has only been ordained by the Father. The conscious identity I've known all along.
The idea of "calling" is so fascinating to me. What does it mean to choose Jesus over everything else? What does it mean to follow what you were uniquely created to do?
When I ask myself that question, I see images that I can't piece together. I see flashes of goodness and beauty and adventure. I see radiant joy – I don't know how to describe it other than my heart's song. The sights, the sounds, the smells; I can picture it now. The richness and beauty of what I feel in my bones.
Madison and Hannah always tell me I live my life like a montage. I've been obsessed with these Mary-Kate and Ashley montage moments for years; the idea of perfectly placed moments with an enticing soundtrack and a killer sunset picture in the background.
But what if I was created for moments like this:
Moments that require every detail to merge for the sake of glory?
Moments that require an authenticity for life, for love in the most ultimate sense?
I ask these questions, yet I always come back to knowing I want to see, and breathe, and experience the world; and I want to tell people about Jesus. Woe.